Winter Hibernation & Reflection

This blog is coming at you on the back end of the great snowmageddon that’s taken over Nashville, and my life, for the last week. So, if I sound like I’m losing it a little... it’s possible am haha.

Huckleberry’s First Snow

Needless to say, I’ve been in hibernation/isolation mode.

It’s so funny, I’ve had several friends call or text saying, “I bet you’re getting stir crazy living alone. That must be so hard.” Honestly, it’s not been bad at all. I spent a solid 48 hours finishing a book series that I love. I cooked some truly delicious meals. I snuggled with Huckleberry while watching TV and drinking hot chocolate. I walked to the local cookie store in the snow and enjoyed the winter wonderland. It was so lovely to have the time to relax guilt free. There was literally nothing else I could do.

Winter has always been meant for slowing down; for turning inward and reflecting in coziness. Hibernation and rest. I’ve leaned into that mindset heavily, but being introverted I’ve never really had an issue with being alone in my house haha. I’m probably a little too comfortable with being by myself at this point in my life.

A few of those days I had some good conversations with friends over the phone that left me with a lot of thoughts. Since we’ve all been stuck at home, I think reflecting on our lives was a natural instinct. A very common theme that kept coming up with multiple friends was frustration over pursuing our dreams and not seeing results. I really do wonder sometimes if that’s why we all struggle to slow down in life. When we do, our minds love to remind us of all the things we should be doing better.

“You should be doing more.”

More, more, more.

It was wild that I had multiple, separate conversations with people, who were not connected to each other at all, about the same thing. One friend said that they worried they’re spending their life working hard, chasing a career/dream and never getting anything out of it. (Same girl.) Another friend is in the process of starting a dream she’s always wanted, but having to wait because of outside circumstances. As I was listening to these friends express their frustration, I was nodding my head. I get it. I really do. I had that same thought process when I was forced to be still at home.

I told one of my friends about how I felt stuck and like I’m getting nowhere, and they told me if I’m feeling stuck maybe I should consider doing something else with my life. It was a very innocent statement meant to try to be helpful, but it bothered me at first. Not at my friend, but at the fact I’ve had that very thing said to me several times by different people when I express something is feeling hard. Why is that our natural response when we face hard obstacles or adversity?

“Is it worth it?”

“Maybe you should give up and do something else?”

“Why keep going if it’s that tough?”

I’ve been pursuing music since I was 11 years old. Fifteen years of my life I’ve been focused on making my music matter. Through a series of events in my life, I fell in love with songwriting and performing early on. I can’t explain why or what or even how, but it’s the one sure thing I know in my heart I was meant to do. I’ve played countless shows, sacrificed fun weekends with friends or trips traveling so I could pay for production on my songs. I moved 8 hours away from family by myself to pursue this dream. I’ve invested so much of my time and so much of my money in this for a majority of my life because I can’t see myself doing anything else. If I could I would be doing that instead. There’s no back up. There’s no other passion that I would be content settling into. At least, not until the good Lord places a new path on my heart. I’m all ears if he does, but until then… this is it.

Let’s be honest, dreams and ambition of any kind are not for the faint of heart. In the words of Lainey Wilson - “If you’re gonna be a dreamer, you better be a doer.”

No matter what the passion is. It’s hard work to create a life worth living and even then… sometimes it’s just hard. The beauty I found in those conversations was the realization that we all have something we’re wishing for and working towards. All of my friends dreams and goals are different from mine, but their feelings are the same. That tells me anything worth having is worth working hard for or just plain living in the “hard” for. The doubts, the “what if’s”, the struggle, it’s all a part of the process.

We all wonder if it’ll be worth it in the end. Whether “it” is getting married, starting a family, starting a business, moving to a new place, or working towards a ridiculously high dream - it’s all hard. You just choose your hard. One day, I do believe the time you put into it will be worth it. The investment of heart and soul will leave you with no regrets, regardless if the outcome is how you hoped. Sticking it out and keeping the faith will not leave you disappointed.

So, take a deep breath and enjoy the slowness that comes from the winter season. Spring is for waking up and beginning the hustle, but for now, embrace the hard and go easy on yourself. Don’t be afraid of the stillness that brings up the hard emotions or fears. Let the cold season serve its purpose and trust the process.

Or don’t listen to me… I am going on a week of being isolated so I may just be going a little crazy haha.

How are you enjoying the winter season? I’d love to know.

xx Carson

P.s. I’m releasing a new song on Feb. 9th called “Never Drank A Beer” - you can pre-save it now!